How to Get and Survive a First Date

There are those who throw endless hints to that special somebody hoping they will eventually take the bait and there are those who feel if they cast enough lines in the water, they’re sure to get a bite. Is there a happy medium?

Step1
So you’d really like to go out with that sales rep with the incredible smile. Forget the hints. Hopefully you already have an unlisted number or a cell phone (can’t be too careful) and a handful of business cards. What? No business cards? Go get some and duhhh, don’t include your work number on these cards. These are meant to introduce you to possible dates-not business partners. Oh, and please no fictitious lofty titles such as "Pat-world class ski champion" unless of course you are a world class ski champion in which case it would be fine.

Step2
The initial approach should be light and honest. Introduce yourself and ask their name if you don’t already know it. Repeat their name as you say…"So&so,you have an incredibly smile and I’d really like to have lunch or coffee with you some time if you’re available." Please note that I did not include dinner. After all, this is still the screening process. Follow up with "Great. Here’s my card. Looking forward to hearing from you" or "Working overtime? Well here’s my card if you’d like to call me." Do remember their name. It’s that important.
 

Step3
Uh oh. Rejection? The object of your affections has emphatically stated that they do NOT want to go out with you. No means no. Handle defeat graciously. "No free lunch? Ok then. Hope your day is a good one." Keep those extra business cards available. You’re obviously going to need them.
 

Step4
So you have THE first date. Meeting at a mutually agreeable location gives you both an advantage. You can size each other up in an hour or less and on the rare occasion that the nice date is really creeping you out, there’s the option of a good excuse with a sudden retreat. Remember this is just a lunch or coffee. It’s also not an exclusive interview …not yet anyway.It’s intro time. Ask a bit about them. Tell a bit about yourself. Work? Hobbies? Travel? Sports? Entertainment? Are we having fun yet? Then be honest. Does it feel like you’re conversing with your younger sibling or is a transition to dinner on the menu?
 

Step5
They like you. You aren’t crazy about them. If you’ve decided to move on and Business Card #3 keeps calling…do both of you a favor by letting them know you had a good time but the spark just wasn’t there. There’s nothing more confusing than thinking there was some major potential brewing and winding up on hold. You hate it. Don’t do it to someone else.
 

Step6
Love at first sight? Gimme a break. But then again, I’m not completely skeptical. Those magical moments can and do happen but you can’t rush them. They’re few and far between. Look at it this way: if nothing else, you’ll have company at lunchtime, possibly develop a taste for good coffee, enhance your conversational skills, and make some good friends. Not bad for a box of business cards.